Having Kids Has Zero Appeal

book Cover

To me anyways…and a few others around the world. A few million others.

Years of writing on the subject of not wanting to be a parent. Years of observations and dedicated research. The result remains the same. There are daily reminders to me as to how grateful I am for the decision I have made to leave parenting to others. It was never for me. My memory is sharp enough to a time where I recall as a kid saying that being a Dad would never be in the cards.

Witnessing what parents have to go through on a daily basis is incredible. Exhaustion sets in during even a few observations. All I can say to myself is no, absolutely positively no. Still amazing is how often a few people will ask me when we are going to have kids. Or, there will be some sort of moment where we might be in some situation where a person brings a newborn into the picture. This results in “Doesn’t it make you want to have one of your own?”

No. It never has and never will.

Time is valuable. Finding time to do the things you want to do is a recurring gift. Finding even ten minutes of peace and solitude every day is a powerful thing. The very idea that so much of life would change in order to be a responsible parent. That is a frightening thing.

So often and for so long, it was a struggle to even take care of myself. Some days it still is. The appeal of wanting a better life for myself far outweighs any potential pros* of possibly becoming a parent.

* For me, there are no actual pros to being a parent. 






4 thoughts on “Having Kids Has Zero Appeal

  1. OMG thank you so much for this. Little babies don’t make me want to have kids. They never did. They just made me want to have my uterus removed to make sure I never ever ever had a kid.

    I get so sick of other people looking at me like I’m some kind of deranged alien for not wanting kids.

    Thank you for being a kindred spirit that isn’t afraid to say shit like this.😍

  2. As soon as my husband and I were married for a year, the kids question starting coming from absolutely everywhere. “When are you going to have kids? How many are you going to have? You’ve got a limited window, you know.” All that BS. I appreciate your post!

  3. i had my son late. It was the best thing iv ever done. But its not my place to question anyone who doesn’t have kids. its personal choice. if we were all the same the world would be a boring place!

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