Finding fault within yourself can occasionally result in positive changes. Let’s look at an approach that may be helpful.
Frustration builds. How you deal with it can make all the difference in the end results of actions. I’ve written here often about writing things out as a form of self-therapy. It works for some people. Consider yourself a union of one person. You are advocating for yourself and on behalf of yourself. Writing out a list of things you want to work on is akin to filing a grievance against yourself. I suggest a table chart with differing columns. First one can be the problems you identify. The second, possible causes for those problems. A third could be possible solutions, the fourth would be what you desire for your eventual outcome.
Take yourself to arbitration. Find ways to deal with those grievances. Whether on your own or through qualified professional help. I’ve done both and will not hesitate to do the same again. I’m grateful to those who have helped me over the years in every capacity be it personal or professional.