Notes From a Highly Sensitive Person.

man head holding

Self-acceptance requires an infinite amount of time. A lifetime of time to be precise. Few if anyone can honestly claim complete self-acceptance without a microscopic amount of doubt.

I’m fortunate to be in a place where there is much about myself personally that I have come to accept. Every so often I wind up in part of a philosophical discussion about the one thing we would want to change about ourselves. My answer for most of my life is the same. I would gladly cease being a highly sensitive person. More than financial wealth, I would happily trade in the HSP tag.

We are heading into 2020 with more of an increase in mental health awareness. Leaps and bounds have happened in the last twenty years. People are talking. More people want to talk. Advocates work their advocacy. People are finding help.

It’s a start. There is a long way to go. Mental health is still too dismissive of a topic for the majority of the population. Anxiety and sensitivity is seen as a weakness. Sensitivity is often mocked especially among the male population. Archaic phrases of demand like “Be a Man”, and “Man-Up” are thrown about freely by archaic thinking.

I spent much of my younger days running from bullies in grade school and junior high. Every day I was on the receiving end of taunts because of my looks, clothes or perceived lack of athletic ability. When I say every day, I mean EVERY DAY. This has a lasting effect that continues to this day. I’m working on it. I may be working on it for the rest of my life. So there may be times when I do not want to be part of a picture because I’m not comfortable with how I look that day. There may be occasions when I leave a conversation if someone brings up an uncomfortable topic such as animal cruelty. Much of my younger days were spent defending my life choices as if people were preparing for my parole hearing. Fact is, I was miles ahead of most people my age when it came to maturity and street smarts.

Maybe I could stand to work on accepting being highly sensitive more. It’s difficult to accept feeling constantly vulnerable to a world swimming in toxicity. I find a way to get through it and will continue to do so.

If an opportunity came along to trade in one personality trait, I will happily rid myself of being a highly sensitive person. 

@WriterDann

 

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