Respect Individuality. A Message to Parents and Non-Parents Alike.

Mills1

“You are your parent’s child.” – People who are angry at someone else.

“When we become originals, we become irreplaceables” – Taylor Negron.

One of the many reasons I never wanted to have children was a fear of comparison. It is spectacularly unfair and at times offensive when parents compare their children to the opposite parents in a negative way.

I appreciate there are occasions where it’s meant as a outright compliment. It’s in the message delivery. A parent can and should make that clear when complimenting their child. Same for complimenting someone close to you. If you are going to compare them to the best qualities of that person’s parent, make it clear. For example;

You and your Grandfather’s sense of humour are so wonderfully alike”. – Anyone who knew my Grandfather.

Since a young age, my blood pressure rose when being compared to my brother academically by teachers or relatives. Or if I was told I was just my Mother’s/Father’s son, for the wrong reasons. It was a sharp sword of words to hear. My positive qualities are mine and mine alone. I could never even closely emulate the positive qualities both my parents have. Equally, I resent being compared to any negative traits people perceive in them. It’s offensive in a way that cannot be explained clearly.

Parents who have grown kids need to stop pointing out the mistakes their children make as if they are preparing for their parole hearings. It’s not helpful, and IS harmful.

@WriterDann

 

 

 

 

 

 

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